Posted in Uncategorized

Baby, It’s Busy Here

I really can’t stay (but baby, it’s busy here)
I’ve got to go away (but baby, it’s so busy here)
This evening has been (please help us get out of the mess that we’re in)
the worst shift ever (I’ll hold your hand, we’ll do the admission together!)
My husband will start to worry (co-worker, what’s your hurry?)
My children will be pacing the floor (listen to those callbells roar)
So really I’d better scurry (best friend please don’t hurry)
But maybe just a half a cold coffee more (do some charting while I pour)
The supervisor might think (baby, it’s so busy here)
Hey, what do you think? (no more beds to be filled out there)
I wish I knew how (I know you’re feeling guilty now)
To break this spell (I’ll hang up your coat, your hair looks swell)
I ought to say, no, no, no (but we need you, so please don’t go!)
At least I’m gonna say that I tried (you know that we’re all feeling fried)
I really can’t stay (oh c’mon, what do you say?!?)
Cuz baby, it’s busy here!
I simply must go (but baby, it’s busy here!)
The answer is no (but baby, it’s so busy here!)
This shift really has been (how lucky for us that you dropped in)
One of the worst that I’ve been on (look out the window it’s nearly dawn)
The other nurses will be suspicious (gosh, doesn’t that old donut look delicious)
My relatives will be waiting at the door (think of the overtime galore)
though a family Christmas party can be really quite vicious (gosh these saltines are so delicious)
So, maybe just a few hours more (anything, just please don’t walk out that door!)
I’ve gotta get home (but baby, you’d feel guilty out there)
Don’t make me feel bad (we’re up to our knees in here)
I’m really quite sad (we’ll laugh at this someday, over a beer)
But don’t you see? (how can you do this to me?)
There’s bound to be talk tomorrow (robbing Peter to pay Paul, is someone else’s sorrow)
At least there will be plenty implied (if we all call out tomorrow and say that we died)
I really can’t stay (I don’t want you to say)
Baby, it’s busy
Baby, it’s so busy here!

Posted in Uncategorized

Vocation

A few nights ago I attended a banquet held by my employer to thank me and some of my fellow employees for our loyalty and service. It was a celebration of our longevity and commitment to serving the community. I work at a local hospital as a nurse, and I have worked there for 30 (!!!) years.

It wasn’t meant to be a career. At the time I had just turned 16, and I was thinking about a summer job. My mother was a LPN at the local hospital, and had heard about a desperate need for CNA’S. Apparently, they were in such short supply in our area in 1988, that the hospital came up with a program that would train 10 high school students for free, if we agreed to work full-time for the summer. I had no aspirations to be a nurse, and I abhorred the idea of assisting anyone, least of all a nurse, but it was either that or continue babysitting and since I’m not a “sitter” at all, I ended up spending the entire time playing with the kids, which made me in hot demand, but completely burned me out. Then, there was the matter of the inconsistent paycheck; 20 bucks from a doctor and her stay at home husband for a few hours while the kids slept, VS 5 measly ones to be up until 1am with a screaming Mimi in a filthy house. Thus, the 3.35 an hour WITH night differential, was a clear winner, even if it meant being a nurse’s assistant–a certified one at that.

So, every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon after school, and all day Saturday, from February until June, I learned how to care for patients. I learned how to take vital signs, and the proper way to write them down (that’s TPR for you younger nurses, not all scattered about like some do today, so that you have announce the respiratory rate, instead of just doing it in order!), make beds you could bounce a quarter off of, and how to give bedbaths, while preserving modesty (theirs), and without embarrassment (mine). I was taught everything I needed to know except for one thing… how to literally walk into someone bedroom and assist them with all manner of basic human needs, all while chattering about the weather or last night’s ballgame, like it’s nothing. I remember the first day of work, walking up and down that long hallway trying to summon the courage to walk in to a patient’s room and ask them if they’d “like to wash up for breakfast?”  I finally did, and continued on from there; working days, evenings and nights the summer I was 16, then all of my junior and senior years of high school, and even after I graduated. I wasn’t ready to go to college yet; I’d was pretty wrapped up with a certain bad boy from Lewiston at the time (LOL!) and back then there wasn’t the same push to go to college right after high school ready or not; thank God, because I wasn’t ready, although I had plenty more to learn.

I found that I really enjoyed helping people, not the nurses so much, because many, many times I thought to myself that I could do a better job than some of the nurses, but the people in need; people who were hurting. It was truly a pleasure to wash and rub the back of the old farmer who had gotten run over by his own tractor and had been stuck in a hospital bed in traction for months, because it made him feel so much better. I loved making their beds fresh and wrinkle free, and helping the older lady, so debilitated and weary from a severe stroke, and hearing her sigh with relief and pleasure as she sunk into the clean bed.  Awkwardness? I got over that really fast, caring for a 23-year-old man who had been nearly killed in a motorcycle accident and was bedbound and nearly immobile for weeks in traction. At that time, it was not uncommon for patients to be in the hospital for weeks, especially when traction was involved. My, how things have changed.

I liked taking patients outside for “fresh air,” (I brought my own “fresh air” out with me on those occasions, and yes, I quit years ago!). I liked feeding the ones who could not feed themselves; I’d put lots of butter, salt and pepper on their potatoes, and sugar and cream on their oatmeal just how I like it, and felt as proud as a mother when they ate it all, especially when the patient’s sweet little wife came in to visit, just as I was wiping her husband’s mouth and exclaim, “that’s wonderful dear! He hasn’t eaten that well in weeks! Thank you for taking such good care of him for me.” I glowed with pride, as I did when I walked by my assigned rooms and admired how tidy they were, everything neat and inviting, and how clean and comfortable my patients looked.

I learned tricks along the way too; getting someone to suck on a straw, when they couldn’t even open their mouths. I learned how to shave a mans face, with an electric and a disposable razor, wich is a tricky business when the skin is loose, and the angles are sharp. I learned how to make the ladies permed hair look like they came from the beauty parlor with some no-rinse shampoo, and a pick. I learned how to roll a 200+ pound person alone, even though I was a little over half that myself, and I could pull that same person up in bed by myself (Patients tend to slide down in the bed, and constantly need a “boost,” usually by a person on either side of the bed lifting with a sheet or pull pad) by pulling the bed down and lifting them from the top, and I could safely transfer that same person to a chair, with no help even if they couldn’t put weight on their legs. I learned that warm prune juice works like a charm for sluggish old bowels. Also, along the way, I learned how to make small talk. A tomboyish introverted bookworm, I would have described myself prior to working with sick and injured people, I had absolutely no clue how to make small talk, because it didn’t come naturally to me. Thanks to thousands upon thousands of conversations with strangers, I can talk to anyone about anything.

Most importantly I think, along the way though, I learned how to make people feel better– to make the worst day of their lives, just a little bit better. I learned to joke with the surly ones, kid the old men, agree with the confused ones, and listen to the sad ones; and I learned that this is my calling. I continued to work as a CNA for 16 years, in the same place, before finishing nursing school. The only reason it took that long, was because I loved the work so much, and didn’t want to trade the closeness I had with the patients, for paperwork and medications. Eventually  though, the lure of a higher paycheck, coupled with the annoyance I sometimes felt at some of the nurses because I knew I could be more efficient, more compassionate and less judgmental than a few of the ones I worked with at the time (those slackers are long gone, the nurses I work with now, are a wonderful group of people).

Now, I spend the majority of my days at the front desk, and I miss the time I was able to spend with my patients. 30 years ago, I worked closely with two older nurses, who had my dream job. They no longer worked as nurses, because they were past retirement age and felt that they couldn’t return to all that responsibility, so they were allowed to function as CNA’s  but with their old nurse pay. While I know this would never fly today, it seems like that would have been a nice way to ease out of the most trusted profession in the world, in the same way I entered into it; helping those, who for whatever reason, can’t help themselves and in the process helping myself.

Posted in Uncategorized

What it feels like to be a Nurse

#1 Most trusted profession? According to Gallup’s annual poll, nurses have ranked highest in honesty and ethical standards for 20 consecutive years. May 6th is National Nurses Day, and this is what it feels like to be a nurse….

~At any given moment at work; your feet hurt, your back or neck hurts, you are probably hungry and thirsty, and you may or may not have had a chance to go to the bathroom since you got there.

~You optimistically bring a lunch everyday but, sometimes don’t have time to eat it.

~You work 3 days a week (unless you feel guilty that everyone is working short-staffed and you pick up an extra shift) but during those three days you see only your co-workers and your bed. Everything and everyone else cease to exist.

~Returning home after a 13+ hour day, you have learned to ignore piles of dishes and laundry, and force yourself to get to bed ASAP, because in a few hours, you will do it all over again.

~Friends and family say to you, “wow, you have a lot of time off!”

~Your first day off after three shifts in a row is a day of catching up on laundry, not sleep.

~You are really good at nodding and smiling, but your nurse friends know the truth. Sometimes, you only have time to exchange glances, but just to know that someone else knows how you feel, makes you feel better.

~Your long hours make you depend on co-workers to switch shifts or come in early for you, so you can rush to your child’s basketball game or concert in your scrubs.

~Saltines and graham crackers? Yes at work. Never, ever at home.

~Someone else’s bowel movements; Cheered, charted, reported and discussed. Weird? Not to us.

~Same with urine, sputum and vomit.

~”Vitamin A” and “code brown,” nonmedical terms that all nusres know; one we love, the other, not so much.

~Walks, talks and pees in the toilet is a wonderful phrase to hear during report.

~Ditto with alert and oriented.

~Speaking of report, giving to, and getting from, the same person a few days in a row can make your whole day.

~”Admission” is a dirty word.

~So is “quiet.”

~Holidays and weekends and nights. Enough said.

~Donuts from Dr’s, chocolates from patients, and cakes for birthdays can cause a stampede in the breakroom.

`When you are off, random medical emergencies in which you must take action, seem to happen frequently around you, although you try to avoid these situations like the plague.

~Regarding the health of your children, you are one of two ways: certain that every headache is brain tumor and every stomachache is appendicitis, or shrug off every complaint with a “you’ll be fine.”

~After seeing you at work, one of your children might have exclaimed, “I wish you were this nice at home!”

~Among your coworkers, you know who is the best at different tasks like a difficult IV start or putting in an NG tube, so you trade tasks or beg them to come along for “moral support.”

~You have uttered the phrase, “I absolutely HAVE to get out on time today because I have to do X, Y and Z.” It doesn’t happen.

~After a ridiculously busy shift, when your spouse says, “how was your day?”, you say “fine” because to even begin to tell a non-medical person everything you did and saw seems exhausting.

~When you do feel like talking, usually when eating, your spouse abruptly ends the conversation with a hand up and a “please!”, when the word diarrhea makes its appearance.

~No subject is off-limits with your co-workers and they know everything about you.

~Wolfing down a meal with another nurse is the perfect time to discuss bodily functions, or lack thereof.

~You think maybe you have seen it all, until the next strange things comes along.

~You learn to accept anything; odd requests from patients, OCD behavior from other nurses, mood swings of physicians, and try to accommodate them all, as they also accept your quirks.

~You live in fear that you will accidentally cause a HIPPA violation.

~Because of HIPPA, your spouse has probably said to you, “xxxx said they saw you at work. Why didn’t you tell me?!?”

 

As a nurse, you have been punched, kicked, sworn and spit at. You have also held hands, cried with, hugged and even kissed strangers. You have been called a bi*%# and an angel in the same day. You have truly loved, and disliked certain patients but have treated both the same way. You have loved and hated your job. You have cried and laughed. You have seen births and deaths. You have seen tragedy and triumph. You have seen people at their worst and their best. You have been at your worst and at your best. Your co-workers are like siblings. You are proud to be a nurse.

Happy Nurses Day.

Posted in Uncategorized

Nurse

 

Rushing down the hospital hallway on Sunday, to get a shivering patient a blanket from the warmer, I suddenly had a sense of gratitude for my job and the ability to perform it so strong and so powerful, that tears sprang to my eyes and I had to blink them away lest someone think something was wrong. It was so unexpected and so intense that by the time I walked back into the patient’s room and put the heated blanket over her shoulders, I think she could feel it, because she said, “this feels so good, I could cry.”

A day (or night) in the life of a nurse is piled high with tasks. Patients must be assessed, medications must be passed, doctor’s orders addressed, treatments performed. Patients must be admitted, educated, discharged, and ambulated. Conversations with physicians, other nurses, nurse’s aides, pharmacists, physical and respiratory therapists, social workers, and family members take up a large part of the day. Everything must be documented (“if you didn’t chart it, you didn’t do it!”), often at the end of a 13 hour day because there was no time to stop caring for patients long enough to prove that it was done. Intake, output, weights, and vital signs need to be obtained, monitored, and addressed on each patient. A nurse must know the proper and safe amount of medication for every affliction, and question when an order seems unsafe, but must never diagnose, only make suggestions. The nurse must stay up to date on the newest technology and operate complicated life saving equipment with ease (never appearing befuddled in front of a patient).  They must remember policies and procedures and signs and symptoms of hundreds of illnesses, or at least know where to find the information and absorb it quickly, and well enough to explain it in layman’s terms so that anyone from a child’s level intelligence to a genius can understand. In addition, the nurse must weigh intuition against objective data. At times, this means imploring the doctor to intervene and possibly order expensive and unnecessary tests, based on a “gut feeling” or say nothing, and realize too late that although the patient’s numbers were good, the instinct that “something isn’t right” should never be ignored.

Meanwhile, the nurse must nod, when well-meaning managers appear with the latest and greatest piece of safety equipment, or a process change and must implement these things with a smile. A nurse must wait to go to the bathroom while assisting patients who need help to go, must eat when it can be squeezed in around the patient’s meals and must only sit in between tasks.  A nurse must always appear calm and in control, even when faced with gruesome injuries, children gasping for air, families grieving, or when aggressive patients attack, verbally and sometimes physically. A nurse should not tell a patient, “I’m busy” no matter what the request, and should try not to appear harried or overwhelmed, even when the tasks are piling up, and that barely treading water feeling has dissolved to the drowning feeling that every nurse knows so well.

Why in the world would anyone do this, you may wonder. Why would someone want to work weekends, nights, and holidays and have so much responsibility and yet very little say? Why would anyone want to put the needs and wants of others above their own? The answer is easy for a nurse and it can hit us when we least expect it. It is a blessing to make someone comfortable, to ease their pain and their anxiety. We are the liaison between birth and life, dying and death. With this heavy mantle of responsibility, comes the pleasure of knowing that we have made a difference in someone’s life, every day. We see people at their best and their worst. We see tragedy and triumph. What the patient sees and feels in us, is the joy and passion that comes through in every thing we do, from saving lives to fetching a warm blanket. It is a blessing to make someone comfortable, to sit with them when they cry, to make them laugh and ease their pain. I may not remember this every shift, but when I do, I am flooded with gratefulness that this is the job I have been given to do and that I have the ability to do it.

Posted in Uncategorized

A nurse’s snowday

I got the call this morning at 0455. A call I actually love to get in the wee hours of the morning. A low census call, which means that, if I choose to, I can stay home from work today. As an RN at a small community hospital, this call come a few times a year when our patient load is light. I do not receive “call-pay”, although some departments do offer that option. However, this means that I do not have worry about being called in later if it gets busy. I work on the medical-surgical unit, where an assignment for the day may include, a baby with croup, a 55-year-old with chest pain, a 75-year-old with hip surgery and a 99-year-old with heart failure. The variety is one of the things that I love about working in a small hospital, as I’m  a “Jack-of-all-trades” sort of person. I love this job, this department and this hospital so much that I have worked there since I was a sophomore in high school. At 45, I have been there for almost 29 years. I don’t for-see myself going somewhere else (how many people already have a pension at 45, actually who even has a pension these days?), it is not unrealistic to assume that I will be there for 50 years if I retire at 66.

At 16, having had my drivers license for one month and a 1979 Honda civic for 2 weeks, I started training to be a certified nurses assistant or CNA. It was either that, or a job at McDonald’s and since this job offered 3.75 an hour, 40 cents more than the minimum wage at that time, it was a no brainer. The local hospital was desperate for CNA’s that year and decided to offer free training in exchange for a promise to work full-time through the summer. That was 1988. I never left. Oh, I had time off occasionally, maternity leave times two, various injuries and one time to have my gallbladder removed, but I always returned. I went to nursing school while working there, and stayed on the same unit after graduating, working as a staff nurse for two years before training as a charge nurse. I never considered being a nurse as a kid, being an actress or the first woman president was my plan. Since I never even took a drama course in school and I mostly slept through my Government class, nursing seemed to be a smart idea while I waited for fame to hit. Although I never fell into stardom, I did, accidentally, it would seem, stumble upon what I was meant to do.  I love being a nurse. I love the hub bub, the controlled chaos of admissions and discharges, the swirl of activity in the hallway  and the peace of holding a dying woman’s hand at her bedside.  I love to calm fear in my patients and their families,  I love to quiet the fire of pain with medication and touch, I love walking with patients, holding their hand or their arm. I love the joking and harmless flirting from the old men and hearing about the old woman’s children, her grandchildren and her great grandchildren. I love seeing a surgical patient come from the OR, quiet and pale with tubes everywhere one day, be wheeled out to a waiting car, with a relieved smile and a lap full of flowers the next. I love that I can battle for someone when they cannot, speak for them when don’t have the words and give them courage when they are afraid. I love that my co-workers understand all of this, the good and the bad. I am so grateful for this job and happy that I never ended up living at the Whitehouse, if only because the president would never get a low census day off.

Thank you for reading,

Susannah Warner